I’m nervous
Today I have my colposcopy that was scheduled months ago. A colposcopy is like a Pap Smear I think, but maybe takes longer and involves a light scope and possibly a biopsy of some sort.
Back when I was first pregnant with Lillian, I had the required Pap Smear done. That was I think in November, because I remember getting a phone call from the doctor’s office the DAY BEFORE Thanksgiving telling me I had an abnormal pap smear that could mean I was possibly precancerous or cancerous. Oh and have a great weekend! Thanks. Thanks a LOT! Needless to say I was very worried at Thanksgiving. They wanted me to go in as soon as the long weekend was over and have the colposcopy then. I said NO WAY would I do that while pregnant. If they did find cancer, what would they do…put me under radiation while pregnant?! I wasn’t going to risk doing anything harmful to this dear little baby that we’d tried for so long to conceive!
So after giving birth, they jumped all over me saying I needed to get this done. So I agreed, and back in May or June they scheduled me for this. At first it was in September. I was thinking…geez, if it’s so dire, thanks a lot for making me wait so long! But apparently they’re booked solid. Then they even called and postponed it on me, putting it to today. So here we go. I’m actually glad they didn’t make me do it right away anyway. I can’t even imagine going through that shortly after giving birth, while trying to recover down there. Ouch!
Please, let the results be normal! Please, let it not hurt too much!
I am nervous about hearing the results. I am nervous about the actual procedure. I HATE things like that. I find Pap Smears very painful. Why do I keep capitalizing those two words? I have no idea. I am also very nervous about how Lillian will do. Poor girl has been needing to be in my arms almost constantly, and she hasn’t been doing too well on any outings lately. Josh and my Mom will be there, though. One to hold Lillian, and one to hold my hand. I really hate stuff like this!
Gasp! You have to do what?!
This adorable little mugwump always cheers me up though. Her face is always so animated, and she’s so bright-eyed and gorgesous! Here she’s modeling some beautiful vintage sweaters that my Mom and Grandma made for my siblings and I when we were babies.
Here is my brother George wearing that same adorable sweater:
Here is my sister Laura wearing this same adorable shawl when she was one year old (and me standing next to her when I was three):
