52/52 AND some of my thoughts on blogging…

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

Lillian: This 52 Project has really highlighted how much you’ve grown and changed. While I acknowledge this with pride and appreciation, I can’t help but get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes and longing in my heart. My baby is growing up! My baby girl started this project at 18 months old and is now 2 1/2! You’ve come SO far! Always beautiful and ever amazing! We are so proud of you Lillian Eve!! 🙂

Gabriel: You came into the world near the end of the 52 Project, so you don’t have as many pictures as your sister! While I knew you were in my tummy the entire time, I couldn’t get pictures of you every week 😉 I could dream about you though, and I couldn’t wait till you joined our lives and completed our family! Your birth was the beginning of your 52 Project, and now you are 4 months old and propping up on your arms during tummy time, rolling over back to front and front to back, laughing out loud, ‘talking’ to us, smiling nonstop, and just being so handsome and adorable! We are so proud of you Gabriel Finn! 🙂

The love we have for our children is immense, and we are so proud to be called their mama and dada. Never was a couple more blessed, in their love for each other, and in the gift of their children. This photography project has been a fun journey, and now it’s reached its close.

I’m not sure what the plans are for this blog in 2014. I may not be blogging at all…I may start a new blog…I may just continue this one. All that I know is that this season of blogging is not my passion anymore. I’m a mama of two, and that consumes more time than just double of one child in my opinion! I believe they deserve my full attention and therefore this blog would be neglected. Is it worth it? Maybe. Maybe I’ll tinker around and post things here and there, few and far between. I’m sure that even if I close up shop for now I will come back to it in the future.

The difference, though, is that I can’t imagine anything more fun to share than my children’s photos, and their accomplishments, etc. However I don’t feel quite right about that anymore. One part of me thinks it’s perfectly acceptable and fun, while the other part worries what it might make my children feel in the future if they knew I ‘talked’ about them to the whole world. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Sharing photos of my children online…just seems so scary when I really think about it. That’s why I’ve made all past posts featuring Lillian private.

I’m very sad in my Mama heart that Gabriel had no ‘milestone’ posts or weekly and monthly photo shoot blog posts. It doesn’t feel right that his sister can have a virtual memoir/diary of her baby days while his are just stored in my brain. It feels so unfair to me. But I 1: didn’t have the time to post blog posts like I did when Lillian was a newborn and younger baby, and 2: I didn’t have the concerns about sharing like I do now.

My only solution is to either get over it, or to never acknowledge the posts I did for her (never making them into a book, etc.), or writing catch-up posts for Gabriel and keeping them private until I can put them in a book for him, to match his sister’s. I don’t know the right thing. We shall see.

Anyway it’s been a fun journey and I thank those who have followed along.

Linking up with Jodi for the 52 project.

Click the graphic above to see all of the previous weekly portraits.